Well, I did well for awhile on the whole “not going months between posts” thing, and then promptly fell back into old habits.  Yay me.  Honestly though, my handwritten journal isn’t much different.  I will have days where I sit down to write in my book and think, “oh I was just here!,” only to look down at the last date and find it was a month ago.  Sometimes I find journaling to be therapeutic, to help me get my crazy swirling thoughts out of my head, other times I feel it gets in the way of the “deeper” work that I am doing.  And I have been doing a lot of “deep work.”

There are so many things I could talk about.  Many that wouldn’t even be overly personal, others too personal to share, as is with all aspects of life.  Lots of thoughts that have come up, lots of realizations, uncovering of hidden truths…so much of self-discovery that I hope every person would take the time to do with themselves.  But it’s not easy, and the deeper I go into myself, the more I realize how much easier it would be just to accept the surface creation instead of trying to unravel all the layers, many of which have been purposefully hidden for various reasons.  It’s easy to see why people avoid this type of spiritual work — you won’t always like what you find, and you can almost guarantee that other people won’t necessarily like what you find either.

I’ve been reading a couple of books that have been instrumental in this journey, books that challenge the way I see myself, see society, and see myself in society.  I’ve also found several communities of women who have been amazing, each one traveling our own journeys and supporting each other along the way.  I’m learning more about myself than I even imagined I didn’t know.  All bringing me to where I am today.  And while all of this work has been intense, it’s mostly been outwardly silent as well.  Hence my long absences.

We are entering my favorite time of the year.  Autumn, my favorite season, and all of the things that it brings — cooler weather, pumpkins, Halloween and Thanksgiving, the decorations and fragrances — cozy and warm feelings.  It’s also the period before winter, when things begin to die or become dormant, the days become shorter, and eventually the weather can become cold and bitter.  Just like all things, it is a balance.  As for the spiritual work I am doing?  This is also the time of the shadows — the darker, deeper parts of the self, a time of introspection and releasing, of confronting those things that no longer serve a purpose and letting go of them.  I will do my best not to fall silent again, to continue to maintain a voice here.

To my followers, thank you for sticking it out with me.  To my new readers, welcome, and I hope that the things I share here will resonate with you in some way.