We spend such a large amount of time and energy worrying about what others think about us. It’s hard not to: so much of our lives unfortunately depends on how people view us. As a result, we work so hard to make ourselves memorable, to make sure that we make such an impression that people won’t forget us. This isn’t always a good thing — people frequently are remembered for things they probably wouldn’t want to be remembered for — but there are some that feel that being forgotten is worse than being infamous.

We don’t like feeling like we are unimportant. We like to feel as though we are making a difference in the world, having such an impact that we will be immortal in name. Being forgettable, overlooked, ignored, all of these create undesirable feelings, feelings of hurt, betrayal, and worse, lack of love. But let’s step back a minute — how do we feel when we try to make ourselves memorable and do not receive the desired outcome? We feel twice as bad because we have poured so much energy into our goal and still did not succeed.

After 28 years of frequently feeling left out, overlooked, forgotten, and ignored, I have finally come to realize the truth of being forgettable — its an incredibly liberating experience! When you are no longer concerned about being remembered, you are free to pursue dreams, desires, random whims of the heart without worrying about what it looks like from the outside. Being memorable is an outer endeavor, with all the focus being on the outer shell. Accepting the beauty of being forgettable allows us to focus inward, to seek out who we truly are deep down, what we truly want out of life, not what others want out of us. We can search our souls and learn a deeper truth about ourselves than we ever could if we aren’t free to dive beneath our exterior disguise. It may sound selfish, but the more we learn about ourselves, about our passions, strengths, desires, the more we will be able to give to the world. We give so much less when we try to be someone we are not, try to pursue dreams that are not ours, passions that we aren’t passionate about. When we learn who we are and let all of ourselves be visible to the world, there is no limit to what we can do. And that will, in the end, set an example that will truly be memorable.